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Thursday, December 14, 2006

When Forgetting Is Not Enough...

Its been awhile since I 'really' blogged.

Some people were commenting on it, saying "You hardly blog nowadays." Rather than having nothing to blog about, the truth is, ironically, I have too much to. Work has been piling up, coming to the end of the year... which is good, cause it keeps my mind off the burgeoning issues that I have up there. But whenever I am on the roads, which is quite often in my line of work, I'll start 'blogging' in my head. So much that, at night, when I nestle down in front of my PC, I do not feel like repeating myself once more, when I really should be resting for the next working day.

Anyway, what has seemed more prominent to me for the past 1 month, has to be this thingy named "Selective memory". Heard over the airwaves that the mind has a way of selecting what it wants to remember and that, it is easier to forget about unhappy memories as compared to happy ones. Its not what you can choose, but what will happen up there subconsciously.

I remember hearing about this fact at the same time, when not too long ago, an Ex texted me. This one happens to be in the 'Selective List' of 'To forget', which I of course, being the sentiment dude, refuse to 'Empty from Recycle Bin'.

I was actually out on a bling when the first text came, by then, I wasn't exactly sober. Emotions gate opened a little as a little of the past was unearthed and tossed around. All in all, nothing outstanding in particular, you know about these Ex stuffs.

When I woke up in the morning, I read through the SMS conversation and admittedly, I cringed at how emo-wimpy I was. In the midst, I also reminded myself not to reply to such message while drunk in future.

Then came 1 part which hit me hard.

It was something that goes "don't deny that I was embaressed about our relationship...."

I froze.

There was pain. Sorrow and disappointment.

Which didn't last long. I felt insulted.

What embarressment?

If you ask around, I'm quite top on Bachelor Lists around the place, ok?

I'm not 1 who is keen for burning bridges. But in my current sober state, I can see everything clearly as compared to when I was 'drunk'. When I start to piece all the "Forgetten Facts" together, I had to conclude that the things that this Ex had said and done, had stained my opinion of her, not just as a friend, but as a person.

I only hope that this Ex will never ever text or call me, ever again.

2 Comments:

At 1:41 AM, Blogger FF said...

argh I hate drunk calls/messages.. they're the worst!

:( Been guilty and thoroughly ashamed of that quite a few times meself.

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger alley said...

hoi hoi~ i always drunk dial/call/sms and always get all emo shitey. I hate it.

Well at least you can see what kind of a person she is. Whoever this ex is.
Never too late.

 

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