At the End, What Matters Most To Each Life?...

Edwin always love to tell me this quote

"When you die. On your tombstone. There will be two number. One, the year you were born and the other, year you died. Between this two numbers, will be a dash. That blaardy dash represents your life. So you jolly make full use of it."

We spend our life trying to find meanings. Our life crosses each others paths. What I find fascinating, is how specific peoples' life drift into each others, make a difference, which in turn, indirectly affects other lifes... then they multiply like a fission reaction. End of the day, end of life, I wonder, what will matter more to me? How I view my own life or how my loved ones view my life?

Today, by my grandpa's death bed. I can't help but remember the difference he made to mine, though we are no longer as closed as we were.

He was the one who sat me down as a child, trying to convince me to be a Doctor when I grow up. I remember the days he tried to dissuade me from pursuing a career as lawyer(lawyers are evil and unethical, so he claimed, and I was too nice and shy a person for that). I end up as neither. But years of trying to upkeep this expectation of his, caused me much inner shame that I could not be what he wanted me to be. We drifted apart because of that.

And today, I realised that I had not shamed him at all. I knew he was happy that I have grown up, I was walking my path upright and that we all loved him.

Grandpa, wherever you are right now, it will be a better place. No more pain, no more suffering.


Rest in peace,
Your unfilial Grandson.