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Thursday, August 11, 2005

At the End, What Matters Most To Each Life?...

Edwin always love to tell me this quote

"When you die. On your tombstone. There will be two number. One, the year you were born and the other, year you died. Between this two numbers, will be a dash. That blaardy dash represents your life. So you jolly make full use of it."

We spend our life trying to find meanings. Our life crosses each others paths. What I find fascinating, is how specific peoples' life drift into each others, make a difference, which in turn, indirectly affects other lifes... then they multiply like a fission reaction. End of the day, end of life, I wonder, what will matter more to me? How I view my own life or how my loved ones view my life?

Today, by my grandpa's death bed. I can't help but remember the difference he made to mine, though we are no longer as closed as we were.

He was the one who sat me down as a child, trying to convince me to be a Doctor when I grow up. I remember the days he tried to dissuade me from pursuing a career as lawyer(lawyers are evil and unethical, so he claimed, and I was too nice and shy a person for that). I end up as neither. But years of trying to upkeep this expectation of his, caused me much inner shame that I could not be what he wanted me to be. We drifted apart because of that.

And today, I realised that I had not shamed him at all. I knew he was happy that I have grown up, I was walking my path upright and that we all loved him.

Grandpa, wherever you are right now, it will be a better place. No more pain, no more suffering.


Rest in peace,
Your unfilial Grandson.

11 Comments:

At 11:44 PM, Blogger SpaceCake said...

My condolences, TriplePeriod. It's always hard losing a loved one, even when you've grown apart.

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger FF said...

You have my deepest condolences.

 
At 9:17 AM, Blogger One Little Twit said...

I hope you are feeling okay, R.

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger Zen|th said...

My condolences as well.

Your friend's quote is quite an interesting one.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Mezz said...

Sorry to hear about your dear grandpa. By keeping him in your heart is more than anyone could ask for in filial peity really. :) So let's continue to make that 'dash' in our lives more fulfilling eh?

 
At 1:12 AM, Blogger airhole said...

my condolences, bro...

i will be feeling the same way soon.. so i am taking yor account and make full use of the time

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Cowboy Caleb said...

Dude, I'm so sorry for your loss... please accept my condolences.

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger nadnut said...

my condolences...

 
At 11:47 PM, Blogger violet gem said...

take care buddy!

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Bittersweet said...

Jia you..

My condolences to you. I think your grandpa will be glad that you blog about him in your blog man. Always watching you from the heavens above like an angel :*)

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger Jaschocolate said...

When i lost my granddad, i cry and cry on that day.. then the tears stopped.. and things just go on..

 

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