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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Closure...

This is a story that I never thought I'll be sharing openly. But there are just too many skeletons in my closet, some of them just got to be cleared. This is a confession that might completely stain your impression of me, but like I care, this is me. I have done what I did, and its time I face up to it, unlike the two(3 or multi-)-faced hypocrites out there who can only back-stab and rain blows on anyone but themselves.

I worked overseas for awhile. There I had a relationship with a lady. I thought that I love her. Maybe I did. Perhaps it was the loneliness of living abroad. Or perhaps, I just needed companionship.

I came back. Tried to make it work, but my feelings proved me wrong as I settled back into life here. Long distance it was and the frequency of calls went down as I soon got tired of the mundane daily conversations that we were having.

Before I knew it, I realise I no longer love her. Being the coward that I was, I did not have the courage to tell her. I even chose to ignore her calls. It seemed like an easy way out but the truth is, I was never free from guilt. Never once.

It must have been at least 4 or 5 months since I last spoke to her when I finally received a SMS from her. And I broke. I decided to call her.

Probably the only last thing I can ever do for her. She cried upon hearing my voice. Not tears of sorrow but of happiness. And I knew what I had given her, and even myself. It was a closure. A proper closure that she rightfully deserves. We are still friends though. She was magnimous to offer the friendship although I felt absolutely unworthy.

The worst thing that a person can do to their other half, is to disappear without a closure. I believe in karma. Mine hasn't arrived yet(at least nothing worthy enough to be deemed karma), but it will come in due time.

Forgiveness could be given to those who have once ran away from relationships and have tried to put things right, although I do not wish to take that as an excuse for what I had done. Well, for those who done it before and is still intending to carry on robbing that someone-who-had-loved-you of that closure, you fucking burn with me.

10 Comments:

At 12:19 PM, Blogger BeeNuts said...

Closure helps because at last there's a definite answer, no more 'what ifs' hanging around. Closure needs courage.
Once the chapter is closed, you can put down the pen instead of chewing on its end thinking of more to write. Now you can bloody slam the book shut! *Grins*

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger Alphabet Moppet said...

I am glad you gave a closure in any chance. You must be ready to take up responsibility to start and end it like a man! Am proud of you.

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger justme said...

Next time you can look back and tell yourself...at least i didnt disappear without a closure for someone who once love me dear.

you've done good, tripleperiod. Really.

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger sassyjan said...

拿的起放的下!:)

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger *thekinkyprincess* said...

umm..there's always an xcuse we'll digged out for our actions.
its lucky tat the gal was good 'nuff she could actually kept the friendship.

Sometimes..it just seems easier to hide in the dark then to come out clean in the open...?

haha I should just rot in hell.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Mezz said...

Ouch... I hear you, TP. Better late than never. Good on ya for your courage. Can't say the same for my status right now...*sigh*

 
At 12:03 AM, Blogger Catherine *MeowMeow* said...

做什么事情都好,一定要黑白分明,光明磊落,尤其是感情。

I’m glad you can do it finally.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Ah 9 said...

Time and time....time dilutes everything. :)

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger intoxicated.girl.guide said...

No niceties from me, Ruff. You could have done her the favour earlier and ended it. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.

 
At 11:09 PM, Blogger lancerlord said...

At least both of you can move on. Some more both of you are still friend-friend. Needs a lot of courage to do what you did.

 

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