The Closure...

This is a story that I never thought I'll be sharing openly. But there are just too many skeletons in my closet, some of them just got to be cleared. This is a confession that might completely stain your impression of me, but like I care, this is me. I have done what I did, and its time I face up to it, unlike the two(3 or multi-)-faced hypocrites out there who can only back-stab and rain blows on anyone but themselves.

I worked overseas for awhile. There I had a relationship with a lady. I thought that I love her. Maybe I did. Perhaps it was the loneliness of living abroad. Or perhaps, I just needed companionship.

I came back. Tried to make it work, but my feelings proved me wrong as I settled back into life here. Long distance it was and the frequency of calls went down as I soon got tired of the mundane daily conversations that we were having.

Before I knew it, I realise I no longer love her. Being the coward that I was, I did not have the courage to tell her. I even chose to ignore her calls. It seemed like an easy way out but the truth is, I was never free from guilt. Never once.

It must have been at least 4 or 5 months since I last spoke to her when I finally received a SMS from her. And I broke. I decided to call her.

Probably the only last thing I can ever do for her. She cried upon hearing my voice. Not tears of sorrow but of happiness. And I knew what I had given her, and even myself. It was a closure. A proper closure that she rightfully deserves. We are still friends though. She was magnimous to offer the friendship although I felt absolutely unworthy.

The worst thing that a person can do to their other half, is to disappear without a closure. I believe in karma. Mine hasn't arrived yet(at least nothing worthy enough to be deemed karma), but it will come in due time.

Forgiveness could be given to those who have once ran away from relationships and have tried to put things right, although I do not wish to take that as an excuse for what I had done. Well, for those who done it before and is still intending to carry on robbing that someone-who-had-loved-you of that closure, you fucking burn with me.