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Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Feeling of Reunion...

Here I am, glancing at horizontal once again for my frequent fix of sunsetting sky. Believe me when I say that I have a magnificent view of it from my room. To the horizon, unobstructed by any high-rise, lush vegetations and outline of a "mountain". Its sorely lacking of a lake or river, but then again, its pretty much as good as you can get in this urban isle.

I wish I can put up a nice picture to proof that I'm not bragging hot air but I do not possess a worthy camera that can capture the view. I think a nice digital camera should be next on my To-Possess List. Theres going to be sunsets everyday, so rest assure that there will be a time when I'll reward you with this picture... if you stay loyal to my blog.

Also been receiving overwhelming feedback that sun-rise is much more beautiful than sun-sets. I should be checking that out soon....

Presently sorting out some thoughts. Last week, I attend my college's reunion dinner. One thing that struck me half-way through the event, was that while I have feelings for the school compound, I do not feel as much for my teachers. And thats pretty un-conventional, aien't it?

Still, it makes sense to me. As I walked through the gate and canteen for the last time, all those nostalgic memories kept rolling on. Instead of feeling old, I felt young because of the vividness of these flash-backs. This was the stage where everything took place.

But towards my teachers, somehow I couldn't remember chatting with them much. As my classmates invited me to go say "Hello" to our mentors, I froze. I realise that I did not feel much for my mentors and I felt guilty for feeling that way. I did not know what to say to them? Other than "How are you?" and "Hows life been?". Was I such an unfeeling person? Then I look at my classmates, all with enthusiasm, and I wondered if theres anyone among them, who shared my sentiments, but were faking it. I couldn't accept that I was more unfeeling as compare to them, after all, I'm "renowned" for my "ability to feel in romance". Am I so severely selective in the areas where I put my emotions into or just so plain self-centered that I only pay attention to areas that directly concern me.

Anyway, i still managed to slot in a few small talks, just to negate that guilt. Its nice to know that they are all doing fine. After so many years, it soothing to know that everyone's moving on fine and that we all made a difference to each others life.

I'm quite sure that I will get to meet my mentors again. Perhaps, I might feel more next time round. Or maybe I just wasn't in a "feeling" mood for them that night.

1 Comments:

At 12:25 AM, Blogger petals said...

i think tis one of those 尽在不言中 moments where words or any form of communication would be rendered superfluous as you basked in the memory of the yesterdays..

in any case, i am sure your mentors would not hold it against you for your reticence. for all you know, they would rather be left alone so that they could soak up the atmosphere & school spirit like you too.

 

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