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Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Reason...

Just came back from a game featuring the Gunner and Devils. Boring game I must say. But I had quite a good time, I had nice food and beer to go with it.

Earlier on, went out with a friend and met another guy, who had been very helpful in helping me to tune my guitar. I'm not sure if he had heard me say thanks. But I would like to say it to him once more. Thanks a lot. =)

Actually, as of right now, I'm feeling very sleepy and very very tired. But there is just something very compelling inside of me, that just makes me wanna blog.

Probably one of the rare few times that I truely blog for myself.

Anyway, I realise that I'm deep down inside, a very moody guy. On the surface, I'm very easy-going and cheerful. But fact is, sometimes, after a few pints, I end up more sober before. And being sober, does not mean, being happier. At times, after a night of drinks, despite good company and decent dosage of toxic, I tend to go all quiet and quirky. Sometimes, it does "alert" my friends a little. The thing is that, most of the times, I'm still me. I'm alright. Just that, I "think" abit more. As to what I think of, its varies. Can be about life, current dilemmas or even plans. When I'm soberly drunk, its when they all come to me. Begging for attention.

On a separate issue.

Now, I'm thinking about why I started blogging in the first place?

Other than the desire to try out something new. I guess its the "kick" of keeping an online journal which strangers can read. And probably even figure out the "real" me, and maybe even better than how my friends know me. Serious. Do not be surpised if your impression of me is more accurate than how my actual real-life friends see me. And yes, for the very few real-life friends who probably are reading this blog right now, you might even know me better than those who don't read my blog.

Speaking of which, the fact that I am conscious that some of those who know me in real life, reads this blog. I am definitely holding back on my confessions to a huge extent. The emotional baggage of this blog, multiply it by 10. Yes, I'm like a lady deep, deep, deep down inside.

As of right now, there is one particular matter. Which is, weighing on me, so heavily, that I would be willing to give an arm or leg, just to unload. The more I think about it, its seems like the final conclusion, through any logical derivation, wouldn't be to my liking. I reject this conclusion, and it goes into another loop. And yet, I find myself being unable to unleash it. Unable to blog it.

What good is a blog if I cannot bear to dump all of my emotional baggage into it?

Problem is, I have grown to like this blog so much. Tripleperiod is not just a blog to me. Tripleperiod IS me. And I AM Tripleperiod, for all those who know me in real life.

Forgive me for being unable to throw this ONE dilemma of mine onto this blog. As of right now, I can either choose to keep it within myself, or, waste one blog spot in the blogosphere, just for the therapeutic effect of releasing it. I choose the latter.

Forgive me. I like you. Very much. More than I am ever willing to say it. I'll cry sometimes, but I'm so sorry that I can't share the tears with you. And with all my blog-ders too.


At 2:34 AM, Anonymous curious george said... are scaring me. i jus read about jordan and now it's you.Watever is bugging you,jus let it out in the other blog..Take care ok?

At 4:12 AM, Blogger One Little Twit said...

*hug* since i didnt get to do it just now.

At 1:13 PM, Anonymous FF said...

You know you can always tell me:) I give great advice.

Cheer up sweetie.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Ah 9 said...

u are a closet exhibitionish?


kidding lah. lol

At 2:09 AM, Anonymous LiNdA said...

i can understand. i don't unload all my baggage on my blog too as family and friends reads my blog. i find it so contradicting. wanting a space to rant all i feel but space limited to what i can rant. =(

At 11:15 AM, Blogger TriplePeriod said...

george: Welcome to blogging. =D

twity: *HUGZ*

ff: Read this posting carefully. =p

9: Duh? Ironic term leh. Where got closet exhibitionist wan.

linda: Lets get another supplimentary blog. Or do a blog within a blog. Hehe.

At 3:57 PM, Blogger Zen|th said...

I guess that's one of the problems with having a public blog. You really can't say everything that you want to say on the blog.

At 8:19 PM, Blogger Ah 9 said...

i tell too famous no good one....newspapers are evil. wahhaahhaa


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