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Monday, June 27, 2005

Commitment Against Enjoyment ...

Last Saturday, before I was caught "madly in love" at Hideout, I was at a wedding dinner. Was a very special one, as the couple were long-time ex-classmates of mine and it was also a good chance for a meet-up with the rest. Damn. Even our teachers were invited.

As with all weddings that involve familiars, the inevitable question will be thrown around,"So when will it be your turn?". I never pay much attention to the answers simply because I was never interested. Its quite impossible to keep track of whom my friends will chuck, fuck or marry. This time round, a very common answer caught me.

"Still way to go lah...still so young, haben eben enjoy enuff yet. Why marry so soon?"

I pondered then I probed,"So what is it that you haven't enjoy enough of yet?"

"Sian more char bo lah."

" you been sianing a lot lately lah?"

"Actually, no. Drought. No supply leh."

I did not probe further as I pretty much figured out what I had seeked to. The thing was that this guy here, wants to enjoy life and yet, as of now, isn't even doing much of what he wants to be enjoying.

Could it be due to a fear of commitment? While he is not enjoying himself much, it might be that, whatever he is doing(basically nothing) is better than the burden of commitment anytime and hence, he probably defines the current situation as "enjoyment".

If fear of commitment is not the case here. Then perhaps, he really should be going all out to enjoy himself before he settles down(assuming he does meet the right one and intends to settle down), which of course, he certainly isn't enjoying much of life right now. Anyway, the night was early when I first spoke to him and maybe it was too early to judge. For the rest of the night, sitting beside him, I pretty much figured out what he has been doing with his life. Work, home and work. A clean life of no alcohol, no beer and no hobbies/interest.

It might not be long, in six more years, before he gives me a similar reply, "Haben eben enjoy enuff yet..."

So my take on the morale of the story, "If you're going to say that you want to enjoy yourself, jolly well do it. Otherwise, stop deceiving yourself and just admit that you aien't going to be enjoying anything else."

Are you enjoying yourself right now?


At 11:38 PM, Blogger Postmaster-General said...

Oh poor you. No worries I'll keep rooting for you! And yes I am enjoying being single. I mean I miss some aspects of a relationship, but i also enjoy flirting with women.

Keep it up man... You'll get there. And if you want to have some fun I'm in town until late july. We can do guy stuff... like... late night drinking sessions, coffeeshop talk, smoking hookah and checking women out and chatting them up.

At 12:01 AM, Blogger Jaschocolate said...

You and postmaster go and sian more char bo lah.. Shoo shoo...

At 2:58 AM, Blogger -ben said...

And what makes you think that marriage equals gratification, satisfaction, and content?

Take a look at the statistics for divorce and annulment and think again.

And stop watching all those De Beers commercials and government propaganda.

At 8:37 AM, Blogger airhole said...

sometimes ppl say things to mask their true intentions/ideas.

perhaps he was just embarassed.

At 10:25 AM, Blogger sigh said...

To some people, it's between a rock and a hard place. Bachelorhood may not be as great, but marriage has its pitfalls too.

So it is not so much enjoy, but very much avoid.

At 11:53 AM, Blogger fortycalibernap said...

It's not as if we only have two choices -- bachlerhood or marriage.

And you're right -- both extremes are terminally worthless.

At 12:48 PM, Blogger FelinesAreDivine said...

spare your friend..
he could be embarassed or just couldnt come up with a better excuse. what would you say if others ask you?

At 12:58 AM, Blogger TriplePeriod said...

postmaster: U go, man...

chocolove: =P

ben: I never covered the topic with regard to gratification, satisfaction and content in depth. For those depth, I'm afraid you have to refer to blogs elsewhere.

airhole: Agree.

sigh, fourty: =D

feline: I'll say I'm sianin char bo lor.


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