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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Romance I Wanted But Never Feasible...

There is always something very alluring about romance that could never take place. You can probably imagine the scenario whereby you get to meet someone in a foreign land, much as you are very attracted to the other party, you do not have the time and opportunity to attempt any further progress. As joyful inside as you are in meeting her, you are restrained by the lingering pain in your mind, that nothing more is possible.

She is an acquaintance of a friend of mine and tagged along while we were partying in Bangkok. She was Beautiful, dressed in black. Big, innocent and playful eyes only to be pronounced by the black linings around them. Subtle yet very distinct facial features. She had a ponytail down each shoulder fronts. She was very, very, VERY sweet. I wasn't expecting such beauty although I was expecting to see someone very presentable. Captivated no doubt, but I did what I do best whenever I meet beauties, which is to mask my fascination.

I carried on with five-tens and conversations as per very normally. When I had the chance to go one-on-one five-tens with her, I almost died from the voltage. She was smiling. She was staring hard into my eyes and mine into hers. Oblivion to anything else around us. She wanted to try the game for one round and I agreed. I did not want to lose, neither did I want her to drink up. All I wanted, was for us to keep on staring into each others eyes. Our five-ten were in the slowest motion I ever seen and I made the moment last, alright? I was not sure if she had played a part in making it a "never-ending" round, but I hope she did.

Somewhere along the line, we ended up outside the club. With two other guys and her. I could not recall how we ended up there at the same time. Given her charm, attention on her was a definite. My awareness started when I noticed one of the guy firing a cheap shot, he touched her palm and proceed to try to do the palm-reading. I instinctively looked at her and said “Hoo dum na mo(Translation below)”. She giggled. Next thing I knew, the competition was out and both of us were chatting. Seemingly high(which means I doubt she was as high as she wanted us to believe), we talked about a few stuff of which she tried to sound out on whether my friend might be interested in her. I could feel that she likes him, anyway, I played along and kept the conversation within an open loop. Afterall, I couldn’t answer for my friend.

She wanted to visit the ladies, I offered to accompany her. I guided her to the ladies by her shoulder and elbow. The touch, the smoothness of her skin, the fragility of her petit frame. All so intoxicating. Amidst the feel of alcohol in my head, lust was beckoning for attention. Just before the entrance to the ladies, I wanted to push her against the wall and force my lips against hers, gambling for the reciprocation. Of course, I would never ever do that. Taking advantage of this kind of situation is never an option for my tall ego. The thought of it was enough to send shame upon me. As I waited for her outside, the lingering bit of shame for the harboring of that thought shook me up. I continued to play the gentleman part which I am so accustomed to.

We went for supper. I wanted to send her home. But it wasn't right. My friend who brought her along should send her home. My friend who should send her home, wanted to send me home too and I wanted to take up the offer just so I get to be with her a bit longer. But it wasn't right. The 2 destinations were out of each others way. I had to painfully voice out what should be done. "Don't worry about me. You send her back and we guys will take a cab back ourselves."

The next morning, I had another chance to meet up with her for one last time as we went for coffee. Sober this time round, I resolve to simply enjoy the interaction. The light teasing and conversation among the three of us was enjoyable Never a fan of coffee(I do not take coffee very well as compared to beer), I finished a cup of Americano and proceed to order another serving, all in the name of prolonging the section.

Deep down inside, I really do hope that I will get to see her again. I’m hoping but its not impossible this time round. After all, up-and-coming top Thai models do get a lot of overseas assignments. She might just get to hop over to Singapore soon.

Translation Time...
[Meaning of Hoo Dum Na Mo… Hoo means “ear”, dum means “black”, Na Mo means “lecher” or “ti ko pek”. I’m not too sure about the exact meaning of it all, I may be slightly wrong but I will try to explain. The Thais refer to a lecher as a “pussy-face” and the pot is used as a sorta metaphor for the “pussy”. The thing is that, when you use the pot and keep on boiling for long, the “ear” of the pot would become black. Thus the term “black eared lecher”...]


At 3:59 PM, Anonymous LiNdA said...

things that you never have seems wonderful. but once you had it, it may not be actually that good. so which is better - the fantasy of having it or had it?

At 4:37 PM, Blogger TriplePeriod said...

Definitely the fantasy of having it. But thats cause i never quite had the chance to make any fantasy of mine come true. But it is ambiguous because if its attainable, it wouldn't be a fantasy anymore.

At 10:46 PM, Anonymous LiNdA said...

i always think "if you believe in yourself and have the courage, determination, the dedication, the competitive drive, and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done". why not turn fantasy into reality? =)

unless of course, its against our morals or whatever, then that is a different story all together.

At 12:10 AM, Blogger jettykey said...

A very touching entry for me. I can easily put myself in your shoes, and the girl to be a guy I like. I can just imagine the longing and disappointment all bundled together!

At 12:27 AM, Blogger TriplePeriod said...

linda: Always nice to have unfulfilled fantasies. You were right when you said ...

things that you never have seems wonderful. but once you had it, it may not be actually that good.

Certain things are meant to be left in certain states.

anna: Thank you. =)

longing and disappointment all bundled together

You know how I feel. *HUGZ*


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