Get this widget | Share | Track details

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Childhood Query on Life/Death - Yet Unanswered

When I was a kiddo 2 decades ago, I was constantly locked up in my flat. Not because of any misbehaviour but for the fact that my parents were away working and they did not trust me to be anywhere outside. As such, I was always alone and hence, I think lot.

I remember feeling very frightened once as I ponder upon the issue of death. As human, we have this kind of "self-worth" or "feeling of self" which is beyond our physical mode(now I realise, its called soul). I keep wondering, life is so short, less than a century, it speeds and before you know it, you're dead. What happens then? Do I drift around aimless in invisible mode? Do I reincarnate and tireless living through the same shaaaty cycle of infancy/teenager/adult/death over and over again? Do i go to another dimension where I continue my life as another being? But my worst fear was "Will I simply vanish and all of my thoughts, feelings all disappear in a pop?". That to me is the REAL death and I was fearful of it. I still am.

The Buddhist believes in rounds of reincarnation until Nirvana state. The Christian insists that believers of Christ will go to Heaven. Both cases appeal to me afterall, they are not in my definition of REAL death. I'm still trying to make up my mind. Regardless of which side I will take, there is only one way for me to know the true for sure... and I do not intend to find out in the near future.


Post a Comment

<< Home