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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Zhng My Horse...

This is a true conversation between two guys, which might even fit into mrbrown and Mr. Miyagi's "Zhng My Car" podcast easily.

A: True, having a car is definitely much easier to sian char bo. Even if you take cab all the way, its just not the same.
B: Its funny how time flies. Just a few years ago, we were in hostel, scrimping on every single cent for dinner and drinks, now we are playing around with cars. Within our budget now.
A: Yeah. Boys will be boys, no matter how old you are, you still need toys. The only difference is, how big the toys are. They just keep on getting bigger and more expensive.
B: I have this theory on why guys like cars so much.
A: Why?
B: Its all survival. Since prehistoric days, the most desirable caveman has always been the one who hunts down the most rabbits, thus able to provide more. In modern days, its the guy who brings home the most dough. Since a car nowadays, is to some extent, an indication of their wealth, the Lamborghini dude out there is bound to be laying a lot of chicks.
A: Talk about prehistorics, I think last time, when there were no cars, horses would have served the same purposes. In fact, I think horses were more essential then. No public transport. You want to bring char bo to ulu places to hanky panky at night. Without horses, you have to walk there and back maaan. Which sane char bo will go with you?
B: Yah lor. Instead of brands like Mercedes, BMW, Honda, Toyota, they probably have different breeds. Like mule and donkey for lower budget. Then for horses, they have local breed or Italian Stallions. Different horses, different sizes, different speed.
A: And when choosing horses, you have to take into consideration their "food consumption". Like 1 kilo of oats, can travel how many kilometres.
B: They even have different kinds of horses. Work horse, family horse and racing horse(Ferrari). And you can zhng them.
A: Yeah, like using "Recaro" saddles, "HKS" riding rope and "Brembo" horse shoes. Then you sent to trainer to "tune" your horse.
B: Then each household might even have more than one horse. Weekend, you want to sian char bo, you ask to take the "Family Horse" out instead of your pony.
A: Yeah. And they probably have to pay "Road Taxes" too. Bigger "cc", pay more. Then each horse has life span wan. Ten years, old horse liao, can put to sleep. If healthy, can extend, then come 20 years, bo pian must really put to sleep.
B: Why? 20 years confirm cannot walk liao meh?
A: No lah. 20 years horse, everyday kena ridden hard, dun die will also go crazy. Crazy horses are dangerous. The gahmen will not risk that.
B: Hahahahaha. Then when going drinking in Inns, you have to find "Parking Lots" for your horse. Maybe even have "Valet" leh.
A: Again same thing, when picking up chicks, you can go "Eh babe, I'm riding a 56' Italian White. I send you back later?"
B: Then those with no ride leh? "Eh babe, later I walk you back?"
A: Yah, times have changed, tools changed but the concept is the same.
B: Time to go back to work.

The end.


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