If You're Gone...

This is going to be one post that may(or not) make sense to me. Hence, it's definitely not going to make any sense to anyone else. If you choose to read on and get confused, just let it past.

I recall there's a part in Friends where Rachel ranted about how everyone has baggages. Who doesn't have baggages? Just moments ago, I realise how big a baggage I had been lugging along for the longest time. A light sack, which over time, took its toll on my shoulders. My shoulders have however, grew numb from it all.

Its amazing how you can do everything right and yet all goes down the drain in split seconds, over events which you, yourself can never comprehend. Sometimes you want to put things right, yet other times, you prefer to aggrevate matters.

Why so?

The need for control. First, you try to correct matters by compensating, failing which, you take the next course and try to sink the boat. Simply because, should it sink, at least YOU are the one driving it down. YOU are the one who CHOSE to sink it.

For the longest time, I have been trying to sink the boat. Looking back, there were some regrets. I may have hurt feelings along the way, but hopefully they were merely mild stings.

One goal in mind. A lot of things I have done for it. And the people I have gotten acquainted with, just to achieve it. Just when I thought I had enough and gave up, I stumbled upon something that hinted to me, just how possibly close I was.

Feelings tell me that I still want to sink this boat, but I am weary. I have to move on. And this time, its easy for me to make up my mind when I realise, there is only one clown in this comedy.

Cry for this clown some time, will ya?


If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
~ If You're Gone, Matchbox 20

There can be only one Mistress in da house...

RRooooaaarrrrrr!!!


Horizonal salsa...


Lets do some pole dancing.


Another seductive pose of hers.


Resting right on top of my trap bag.

Beautiful Sunday...

I always like Sunday mornings. For one thing, it presents alot of options with no "obligation" pick something happening, unlike Saturdays. After all, the next day is going to be another Blue Monday and all partying should have ceased by 0300hrs on a Sunday.

What would I usually/like to do on a Sunday? Join some guys for a round of street soccer back at my alma mater. Perhaps, draw a few closer friends to dim sum at the Tung Lung outlet @ Far East Square, my favourite dim sum hang out, followed by explorations of the area. Town just feels so different in the weekend. Or if I'm late, I might plan a fancy lunch in town before early noon movie.

But this Sunday morning, I decided to go simple and ta bao some wanton mee, zhu chang fen(rice rolls) and the Sunday Times. And nothing made my day so much as seeing Debbie Wong on the back page of Sunday Times. And she likes cats. Somehow I have an instinctive liking for ladies who love felines. In fact, the gal I just ousted out from my life was partly due to her indifference to my Baby despite all former pleas of "Oh, so cute!" and "I wanna meet your daughter!". I do not like anyone who doesn't love my daughter. Anyway, pardon my side-tracking.

Oh Debbie, oh!

La viva bonita.

Update:
Talk about Cats, all of a sudden, I recall a dream I had this morning. I dreamt that I was in living in a house near my previous place. I was wandering the area and I kept seeing dogs and in particular, I noticed a Schnauser. Then I went back home and in a small cradle was a baby Schnauser. My brother then claimed that he had found it abandoned outside and that its a Mini Schnauser. At that point, I questioned him as to why he was so sure that its a Mini Schnauser and not a Schnauser? He answered,"Well, the shape, can tell wat!" Anyway, I was very happy with the Baby Mini Schnauser.

Whatever does this dream mean?

In The Near Future...

Its irking when you realise that while life does deal you a complete deck of 52 cards, they all seem to arrive at the wrong times.

A year ago, I was expecting the full commitment of a relationship when the girl I was dating bailed out on me. A year later, I straightened my thoughts and wanted a leisure pace of fun without any obligation and I get "emotionally blackmailed" to take on a baggage.

A showdown of "Do you see anything coming up in the near future?", "I have no lack of suiters ya noe?" was a big turn-off for me. Maybe I do not like her enough to give it all. Maybe I seriously do not like been taken hostage. I can only say "No". And being the very nice, hpocritical guy that I am, I had to throw in the traditional follow-up of "Its not you. I'm still recovering from a previous relationship.", that lame crap.

Anyway, its bye to free sex and it really looks like I gonna have to be touching myself in the near future.